March 11, 2006 – 12:12 am

Nights like these are what travelling is made of. The hard life of living in hostels, buying beer by the glass cause you haven’t seen the inside of a refrigerator for 3000 miles, talking to people only for the thrill of finding out who they are… nights like these make everything worth it.

I got in a fight with a junkie. Wasn’t as much a fight as a schoolyard hold-em-face. Have you ever been in a fight with a junkie? It’s not hard. Just push ‘em down and not say anything stupid. Make comments about all the change they spilled. But, for future reference if you don’t want to get in a fight with a junkie don’t ask if they’re a junkie. Repeatedly. Just say, “we can share the alley. We’re all friends here. You’re cool, we won’t make faces.” And whatever you do, if he calls you a pedophile, tell him he’s absolutely right. Make friends with your junkie. Joke about how pervy the girls you found in the alley are. Get him to acknowledge that the situation is ridiculous; because it is.

Mom, wipe that look off your face. Cause it’s funny and you know it.

I was unsuccessful in trying to share an alley with a junkie, and damn if it wasn’t a good story. I’ve talked to so many people already, just because it’s an interesting story. The bouncers on the street, who said “welcome to Melbourne.” A woman drinking Midori in the hostel bar. Two computer nerds next to me. Yes, I mean the two of you, you nerds.

So my night was good. It is my belief it is, and therefore it is so. And you know what? I made more that one sale today (two), and it was good. Things are ok. Maybe tomorrow I’ll let a prospect start a fight and get three sales. Or I’ll write my mom and tell her that I’ve hired a personal bodyguard, and tell her to send me more money to pay “The Jab”. Win-win?